Four Problems with the Trillion Dollar Coin

The last few days have seen a rumbling around the Internet about the U.S. Treasury minting a $1 trillion dollar coin in order to alleviating the debt ceiling/fiscal cliff/that thing you’re sick of having explained to you. It turns out that there’s a technicality in U.S. law that allows the Treasury to mint a platinum coin worth any denomination they decide. With Timothy Geithner on his way out, his last act could theoretically be to create one of these coins, put it in the country’s bank account, and then voila, we’re $1 trillion richer. The big fear is that it would cause hyperinflation and destroy the dollar. Well turns out that this is probably not be the case. Of course, that’s not to say that there couldn’t be other problems with creating this ├╝ber coin:

  1. Biden will inevitably use it to buy a Charleston Chew in a vending machine. “That son of a bitch Boehner wouldn’t break me off a piece, so I had to, y’know?”
  2. Within hours, the Franklin Mint will release replicas commemorating the striking of the coin. Just four easy payments of 24.95!!
  3. One trillion $1 coins is a way better idea; you could swim in it Scrooge McDuck-style. Meanwhile, Monty Burns prefers bills.
  4. Your creepy uncle could easily steal it by “vanishing” it behind some kid’s ear.