- “What’s crazy about this is I don’t even LIKE Jews.”
- “Sorry it took me so long to get up here! I had a boner and I had to wait for it to go down.”
- “Now I can trade in my wife for KATHRYN BIGELOW!”
- “Suck it, Quvenzhané Wallis!”
- “Who has two thumbs and is doing coke off a hooker’s ass tonight? THIS GUY!”
- “And thank you to the Ayatollah Khomeini for inspiring this film.”
- “I kind of feel bad that this award didn’t go to the old lady.”
- “And thank you to Osama bin Laden for inspiring this film.”
- “Talk about torture! That tribute to Jerry Weintraub—just waterboard me!”
- “And thank you to destitute French whores for inspiring this film.”
- “Speak American you snobby assholes: It’s LAY MIZ.”
Congrats to Our Favorite Oscar Nominated Actors
Here’s a rundown of our coverage on this year’s Academy picks:
Nate Penn on Melissa McCarthy’s Bridesmaids performance.
The Artist’s Jean Dujardin modeling plaid suits.
Chris Heath makes Michelle Williams cry a lot.
Nick Nolte gives us the finger. He has strangely thick fingers.
Gary Oldman in glorious excess.