I’m saying there are more and less successful methods for a gentleman to “Internet court” (which is not to be confused with my idea for an hour-long legal drama about sexy young intellectual property lawyers. I’d like this to star all three of Rory’s most significant boyfriends from “Gilmore Girls,” but I’m not married to the idea). If you’ll let me, I will share them with you, so that you can avoid being put into some mean social network category by a weird stranger who is kind of judging you even as she drinks this Diet 7-Up.
First? If you really want to approach somebody via Internet, try to have met them in person first. Some middle-aged people I was recently partying with because I am very cool told me how scary that first ask was in their times. You had to actually place a call to somebody who had ostensibly seen you in three dimensions (at a malt shoppe, I guess?). The terror of this was compounded by the fact that a parent or sister or roommate could answer. The phones were rotary, and the older sisters were suspicious. Now, what’s to keep you from liking a hot stranger’s months-old photo at 3am? (Aside from dignity and advanced privacy controls.)