"Have you ever," he asks, "had a homosexual encounter?"
"Could a rogue IT guy have access to a sex tape or anything like that?"
He makes a check mark on his sheet of paper, and then there’s a long pause. I start to think I’m finally out of the woods. But no, he has a follow-up, a loophole in his last question that needs closing. He looks right at me. “Is there a sex tape?”
No! No to all of it! I am dull as dirt! I’m a happily married dad with pitifully little to hide! So… Why am I so nervous? Why is my heart racing? Have I done something bad? Inquisitions, I’m discovering, are scary even when you’re kind of a square.