"As you may have heard, I’m going to be hosting The Daily Show this summer in place of Jon Stewart, while he directs Transformers 4*. (At least I think that’s what he’s doing. To be honest, when he told me that I had to sit in for him, I passed out—but before my head hit the floor, I’m pretty sure he mentioned something about fighting robots.) This means that one of the most beloved shows on American television is going to be temporarily in the incapable hands of an imposter.
The way I see it, I’ve got just three months to destroy everything Jon Stewart has spent fourteen years building. It won’t be easy, but I think it can be done. I know it’s going to be tempting for people to react to this news by not watching the show, but I wanted to take this opportunity to convince you otherwise. Because there are going to be a few big changes, and you’re not going to want to miss them.”
It’s Just Really Hard to Drum Up Good Roast Material on Kid Rock, You Know?
Comedy Central has pegged Kid Rock as the target of their next roast. In addition to wearing the American flag as a poncho, marrying Pam Anderson, and resembling a Hanson brother on growth hormones most days, comics will also have these fine Rock moments to source material from:
Punching someone in a strip club
Punching someone in a Waffle House
Punching someone at the VMAs
Punching someone outside of a hotel
Punching someone at a nightclub
Maybe punching someone in Michigan