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Oscar Nominees 2014: Here’s Your Full List
All hail the Wizards of Osc.
27 Things Not to Say During Your Oscars Acceptance Speech
"What’s crazy about this is I don’t even LIKE Jews."
"Sorry it took me so long to get up here! I had a boner and I had to wait for it to go down."
"Now I can trade in my wife for KATHRYN BIGELOW!"
"Suck it, Quvenzhané Wallis!"
"Who has two thumbs and is doing coke off a hooker’s ass tonight? THIS GUY!"
"And thank you to the Ayatollah Khomeini for inspiring this film."
"I kind of feel bad that this award didn’t go to the old lady."
"And thank you to Osama bin Laden for inspiring this film."
"Talk about torture! That tribute to Jerry Weintraub—just waterboard me!"
"And thank you to destitute French whores for inspiring this film."
"Speak American you snobby assholes: It’s LAY MIZ."
Read the full list at GQ.com
A Brief History Of Awkward Oscar Acceptance Speeches
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