Remember, you are a worthless garbage person until you’ve taken a picture with a famous person.
If you’re in high school, take lots and lots of full-body pictures. Trust me kids, this is the best your bodies are ever gonna look. It’s all downhill from here. Soak it up.
Ladies, put on full makeup, fix your hair, put on a T-shirt with a large collar and “Flashdance” it off your shoulder, get in bed, and take a selfie like you just woke up. Write things like, “Ugh. So tired.” or “This is my exhausted look.” Add hashtags like #NoFilter or #BedHead. It really will lead people to believe you wake up looking good, and not like your usual bag of shit.
There are two yous: Real You and Insta-You. And there’s, like, six income brackets between these people.