Holy fuck. This:

The subtlest and most promising performance of the year belongs to a 28-foot-tall, 4.3-ton young actor from Cybertron named Optimus Prime. A slip of paper with a very pretty young woman’s number on it now also belongs to the hulking Transformers: Dark of the Moon star. The gorgeous redhead had wandered over a few minutes before from her chaise at the Chateau Marmont’s pool and dropped the note in front of Prime. “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings,” Prime said, unblinking. A magnet on a car key zoomed across the patio and stuck to his shoulder. Opposites attract.

Slow clap, Juli Weiner. Slow clap.