You are quite excellent at giving witty yet truthful advice to those who seek it. What would you suggest to a young man from Los Angeles having a difficult time deciding whether to attend the University of Southern California in Los Angeles or Tulane University in New Orleans for his undergraduate education with the intention of majoring in Biology?
We’re trying to think of anything we’ve posted in the entire history of this tumblr that could possibly suggest we are qualified to answer your question… And all we could come up with is the car that runs on bourbon.
Anyway, here’s the correct answer: go to Tulane. Get out of LA. See another city. Especially because at USC, “majoring in biology” is code for “spending four years trying to bone cheerleaders.”
1. Kill ‘em with kindness. Katie, we know you’re sweeter than a plateful of pecan pie. But you must know about those rumors—that you intimidate your bosses, that you demand white-truffle oil on your morning granola, that you wrote the screenplay to Basic Instinct 2. On your first day at CBS, show them that the gossip is wrong. White-truffle oil on granola is disgusting.
2. Learn your CBS history. When it comes to news, the Eye network has a pretty vaunted past: Edward R. Murrow, Eric Sevareid, Walter Cronkite, Mike Wallace. You’re going to have to respect that tradition. Wear suspenders, smoke a pipe, and tell everyone what it was like to interview Eisenhower at Normandy. They’ll lap it up.
GOOD REASONS: 1. I wrote an essay about SEX and it is in this issue 2. It’s their best-selling issue of all time!!!!!!!*
I read Kelly’s piece on couples bartering with sex on the plane on the way to Coachella. I have to tell you that it is probably the best thing I’ve read in GQ since I’ve started reading GQ in high school. I must have read it 20 times so far.
Trust me on this. Go out and buy it.
Whomever this smart fella is, we couldn’t agree more.